Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
