Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
