You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
