i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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