ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
