I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
