But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
