No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
