things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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