Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
