OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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