Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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