i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize