Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
