Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
