Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
