guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She said her name was "party"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
