Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Randomize
