What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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