yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
