ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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