I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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