You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
