I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My liver just had a heart attack.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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