dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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