I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize