a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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