he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
