hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize