Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You took a bar mat shot.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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