he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize