chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
