he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
