absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
