so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize