it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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