who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
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