How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
In America we eat man semen.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
