The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
