Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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