Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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