just survived the first fart of the relationship.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
