So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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