I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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