Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
