I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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