Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
