the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I love having hate sex.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize