8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Buhtt sex?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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