how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
