He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
