just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
