The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize