Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
