smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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