We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
