Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
