i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
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