are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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