so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
