And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
