I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
