I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
