Cold hands, warm shart.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
