i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
